Productivity Tips

by smiley ~ July 10th, 2008. Filed under: Advice, Productivity.

Thursday is productivity day and today’s tip is one you are going to find extraspecialy useful.  When you get very busy and overloaded with work you need to make it difficult for others to pile more work onto you.  I find that requiring my coworkers to do such things as speak to me only using the Klingon language is very useful.  I assume that if my coworker has taken the time to learn to speak klingon in order to better communicate with me he or she must have a pretty important task for me.

Other things I often do to alleviate my workload are lowering my level of personal hygiene. I often times find it helpful to smile big and laugh out loud for a period of 3 minutes or longer with no apparent reason for the happiness. If someone asks why I am laughing or smiling too much I generally respond with a comment such as “Oh you’ll see!!”  while rubbing my hands together.  Always follow the laughing with a period of looking off into nothingness and lightly chuckling.

OK, to recap, when you find you already have too much work and you do not want to have additional work added to your plate you must take the following steps.

  1. Speak only Klingon at work and require all new projects to be submitted to you in the written Klingon language.
  2. Lower your level of personal hygiene, ie quit showering and using deodorant.  Remember to increase your level of physical activity during this period, because extra sweat should equate to extra stink and less work!
  3. Smile and laugh allot
  4. If none of the above is working, set your garbage can on fire and roast marshmallows over the flames.

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